"You've got to get yourself together… Now you're stuck in a meeting, and you can't get out of it."
How many of you have recurring meetings on your calendar that you look at with disdain? Maybe it's a committee that you were tapped for but don't have capacity to serve on, or maybe it’s a recurring touchpoint with a leader you don’t work with as frequently… Maybe you were added as a "we should get XYZ's opinion" and never removed…
Whatever it is, the value of the meeting is limited for you and for the organization, and yet the meeting remains… a blocker of productivity but a relationship landmine. It can feel uncomfortable to reject a meeting or permanently decline a recurring meeting. It can be especially difficult to leave a committee. Saying "I don't find this meeting to be productive" or "I don’t have time for this." is tricky. It requires diplomacy, but can and should be done. If you are someone with these meetings on your calendar, listen up.
Meeting Hygiene
What I am talking about is an element of meeting hygiene. Essentially, meeting hygiene is the intentional, productive use of a group of people's time. There are two roles in meeting hygiene, the meeting organizer and the meeting attendee's.
The meeting organizer is responsible for the meeting being productive- is there an agenda, are the start/end times productive, are the right people in the room, are the
action items clear, etc. (We're not going to get into this today.)
The meeting attendee (Hi, this is you.) is responsible for self-managing their calendars. If you are stuck in an unproductive recurring meeting, you must do something about it. How you go about that depends on whether your presence in a meeting is necessary.
The Necessary but Bad Meeting
If the meeting is necessary, but poorly run, its usually because there isn't a clear agenda and/or the time is poorly managed. An option is to recommend an agenda template to the meeting owner. Saying something like "Hey Meeting Owner, I was in another meeting recently that used this template and it was really helpful. I think it would benefit our meeting as well, what do you think about implementing it to help us organize our meetings and make it easier to execute on action items?*"
If the problem is time management, be clear about your time boundary at the beginning of the meeting. "I have a hard stop at 3." and then at 3... leave.
Warning- you may become the meeting agenda maker, but if that makes the necessary meeting more effective, do it.
The Unnecessary Meeting
If the meeting is unnecessary, either because you individually don't need to be there or it is recurring past its usefulness for everyone, you need to bow out. Here's how:
Option 1: Discuss with the meeting organizer.
This doesn't have to be lengthy. Depending on your relationship it can be face to face or via email, but it sounds something like this "Hi Susan, I've been reviewing my current commitments and anticipated new work for the year. I will not have capacity to attend this meeting consistently going forward. I wanted to give you a heads up before I decline the meeting invitation. If there is something specific you need me to have input on I am happy to attend as needed. Thanks!"
Option 2: Discuss with your boss.
If you think that pulling out of a meeting will in any way be sensitive, talk to your boss about it first. Get their input as to how they would recommend you manage it and make sure that they agree with your perception that it is not necessary.
That can sound like, "Hi Wong, I am reviewing my calendar for 2023 and trying to practice meeting hygiene. I have a few recurring meetings that I'm not sure I should continue to attend. Can we discuss how I can better contribute to this meeting and where it should fall on my priority list?"
Confirm agreement and then go to Option 1.
Option 3: Ghost. Just stop showing up.
NO. DO NOT DO THIS.
Outside of being disrespectful to the other meeting attendees, it will negatively impact your brand and how reliable you are perceived to be.
The Committee
Ugh. The committee. If you get stuck on a committee that you genuinely can't participate in, tell the leader of the committee. Find someone who can take your place and get off the bus.
Something like:
“I am no longer able to devote the time to effectively support the XYZ Committee. Moving forward I will not be able to participate. That said, I think that Jenny would be addition to this committee and recommend her in my stead. Best of luck to you as you continue this important work.”
Here's why: you think you're doing the committee a favor by being there, but in reality, you're not committed. Imagine a soccer team… You've got 20 guys on the roster but only 4 show up to the game. You can't play. Staying on a committee you don't have the capacity to serve undercuts that committee's ability to do what it is meant to do. GET OFF THE ROSTER.
The Bottom Line
If you haven't noticed, there is an undercurrent of ownership here. Your calendar is YOUR responsibility. If you are in mindless meetings, if you are constantly back to back… It is your job to discern what you can take off your plate. Time is your most finite resource. Manage it wisely.
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