"I’ve got a call today from 11-1 with San Diego- you got him?”
My husband looks expectantly at me over the top of his phone, answering emails and evaluating his calendar.
Our 1 year old son sits in his highchair next to me, covered in bananas and feeding cheerios to our lab, Ellie.
I check my calendar. I’ve got a window, we’re good.
Dual career parents are dealing with a newfound logistics challenge... How to manage two careers... at home... while also caring for and raising children.
For my husband and I, we have had to dramatically shift the way that we work in order to be able to support the role of ‘parent’ without reducing our attention to our roles of ‘worker’. To be open, it's been tough, but we’ve adapted and developed rhythms and behaviors that have allowed us to be more efficient and productive with our time.
Here's what's working for us:
1. Morning Huddles-
Every morning, we eat breakfast together, compare calendars and coordinate childcare, calls and necessary ‘brain’ time. Our huddles help us make sure we are both on the same page about who is responsible for what, and when.
2. Ramping up Communication-
Communication makes everything flow so this is a bit of a “duh”... but here’s how good communication shows up for us. When we have big weeks- important projects or crucial calls, we tell each other about it. We rank on a scale of 1-10. (Not everything can be a 10.) This is especially helpful when we have conflicting schedules. It helps us determine who can flex and how much.
3. Scheduling-
I live and die by my calendar. When one of us has an important call or Zoom, we’ll send the other an invitation. That helps the other person know they need to block that time or at least be prepared to bring the baby to the conversation.
4. Odd Hours-
My job has a strong creative element to it. I need quiet blocks of ‘brain time’ to be able to create cohesive work- tricky with a dog, husband and baby in the house. One of the ways I navigate this is by working when my son is sleeping. Nap time is a blessing around here, but it's not enough. I wake up early and try to get at least an hour of work in before the rest of the house gets up. When our son goes to sleep, I log back in and do the same. These blocks of ‘brain’ time help me stay on track and allow me to be more present with him during the day, without being overly worried about when I’ll find time to do ‘X’.
5. Exercise-
I’m a runner. Eye roll, I know, but running is a huge stress reliever for me and my husband. We’ve been able to leverage getting a daily run into creating quiet time for each other by taking our son with us. He loves to go for rides in the jogging stroller, so by each of us taking an hour out of our days to take him for a run, we create another hour of ‘brain time’ for the other. This is really helpful for those important calls, where you’re trying to avoid screaming baby in the background.
6. Play-
In our isolation, my husband dug some badminton rackets out of the basement. When we’ve had hard days, we go outside for a few minutes, after our son is in bed, and play. This is a small thing but it has been such fun to look forward to. There is a ton of research on the importance of adult play- it’s a stress reliever, promotes connection, brings joy and boosts creativity.
7. Getting OK with Good Enough-
Is that cheerio/chicken nugget meal your toddler is eating totally nutritious? Maybe not, but it’s good enough. Is that email perfectly worded? Send it, it’s good enough. Do what you can- we cannot expect to operate in the same way that we were, when everything about our worlds have changed. That would be like trying to follow a city map after a tornado. Our old ways of doing things just aren’t going to cut it. Trying to carry on with your routine like change hasn’t happened will earn you a one way ticket to breakdown town. Let. Go.
Reframe, keep going.
In this time, we can choose to wallow in the uncertainty or we can recognize it for the blank slate it is and create something meaningful. If we use that frame, parent/work challenges become opportunities, and these habits we’re developing as co-working partners can be recognized as meaningful work-culture progress.
This time has forced us to change how we communicate and work together, as employees, as parents and most importantly as partners. If we can carry that into normal, whenever normal gets here, we're going to make a lasting impact on the way humans work together.
Keep going. You’re doing better than you think.
-Meghan
Commentaires